Who did you get?

This year I am starting my tenth year teaching. When I think about the beginning of the school year and the phrase "who did I get" I used to think about which students I saw on my roll. Which names did I recognize? Which last names did I remember from previous years? This year the buzz I'm noticing is about which teacher a child gets, which gets me thinking..... 


Am I a teacher parents want their child to have?
What type of teacher do you want your kids to have? The loving motherly type? The laid-back style? The strict and structured school marm? The fresh out of college ball of energy?  When I think of these categories, I wonder how my style is perceived by both students and parents, and I know that while my style fits some students, it might not fit all.

Last year in conversation with a few of my 8th grade students, I glanced at one at girl's wrist adorned with a bracelet that said, "SEXY." I notice what girls do and wear and say and how they act and how they make and treat friends and how they relate to each other, themselves and their parents because in 9 and 12 years I will have one their age. I'm curious what my style of parenting will be in a about a decade and what the lines of communication are; how much will I know about Anna Cate or Molly's life and clothes then?  so I said, "does your mother know you wear that?"

Another girl said, "Mrs. King, you are like a Mom."  We elaborated on this conversation and it warmed my heart beause she told me that they see me as a motherly figure and they can tell I care like a Mom cares.  Before becoming a mother, I would not have appreciated the value in a child knowing I care. It reminds me of the saying, "a child won't care how much you know until he knows how much you care."

So, yes I try to provide structure and feel that the way I approach the study of History encourages scholarly inquiry. I know that my intense focus on reading strengthens reading comprehension and that the reason I consider with depth which style of notebook I require is because I want these students to acquire organization skills.  It made my heart soar when a student  near the end of the year told me I was the best teacher she had ever had because I incorporate all different styles of learning. But what I really know is that each of these students I'll meet this year aren't much different than Anna Cate, my own 5 year old, who said in a conversation about her approaching school experience, "I hope my teacher will love me."

Now, let me make this disclaimer: I am not the touchy-feely type always.  The "anything goes" teacher is not I.  I value high expectations and seek grounded academic experiences for the students who enter my classroom. After all, I'm a fan of the Tiger Mother (read a review I wrote of the book here.) But as I think I'm going to continue to learn, this "mother teacher thing" are going to go hand-in-hand, which leads me to my next thought....

I want my daughter to be the type student teachers are happy to get.
When I encounter great kids, I often ask myself and sometimes I ask the girls, "what are your parents doing for you to be so _________?" I fill in the blank with confident, responsible, curious, thoughtful, polite, hard-working, nice, unaffected by your peers, respectful.  It occurs me as I type this list, I've never had this thought about being bright or smart.  Don't get me wrong, I want my children to be brilliant, but it is interesting that I've never thought about what parents are doing to ensure such.

Finally, being a mother of a student has changed my perspective about the parent-school relationship. I absolutely hate to admit this, but used to sort of want as little contact as possible with parents before I became one.  This summer between registration and actual matriculation I have corresponded no less than three times with the elementary school principal and had pleasant exchanges with her teacher, which leades me to think...

I want to be the type parent with whom teachers enjoy working.
I want teachers to know that I trust that we both have my daughter's best interest at heart. I want to accept that my child is not the only child in a classroom, that this is public school and that I, the parent, am responsible for her education. I want to let them do their job and realize that they know a lot more about aspects of education and children than I do. I don't try to tell my my pediatrician how to diagnose and treat; I won't try to tell teachers how to teach.  I really want to feel comfortable in contacting a teacher and not fear that I'm seen as one of those parents, which makes me realize...


I want to be the type teacher with whom parents feel comfortable.
Now that I'm a parent, I know that good parents are just trying to help their child, which is after all, what I'm trying to do, too.  Contacting me out of concern is not something a teacher sould feel threatened by.  I won't let those few times parents have been hateful to me distrust this very important relationship.  When I run into that small percentage of parents who see their job as advocates for their child against the "mean ol school system,"  I'm not going to let that deter me from working with all the parents who do trust and respect teachers.
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So on the eve of this school year, I'm hoping I get the best and that I give the best. I want the best teacher, great kids, and good parents. I want to send to school a good child, to show up an energized, prepared self for my students and provide compassionate and committed communication for both the parents of my students and the teacher of my daughter.

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. - Sir Winston Churchill